Moment of Panic

If you are not changing you are not growing and if you are not growing you are dying . ~ me, jumbling up lots of quotes together

Why is it at the end of a relationship, you only seem to remember the good times and you all but forget any of the bad?  You are left feeling like you are making a huge mistake, that you have been wrong in all of your instincts, and that you can’t see it through. Down deep you know it isn’t right, but you still have that breakdown- a moment of panic that you quite possibly will regret this. I have to imagine this is some kind of backwards coping mechanism that is ingrained in us for some good reason beyond my comprehension because in my humble opinion, it would serve more people good if instead, you could only remember the bad.  Seeing as I won’t let myself  get to that point with men,  I hope you know I draw this example from my relationship with my hair.  Having that perfect hair day the day before you chop it off. 😉

Last night on my way back to my cute, welcoming, adorable apartment (see everything is always so good at the end) , I sobbed.  I’m an emotional one, fyi… and why always in the car? Probably gives the mind time to wonder and think and in this case… panic. Thank God people in Chicago are too busy dodging pot holes to notice that I am using my sleeve to wipe up all my snot.

It was like I had sudden amnesia to everything: stepping on a train to discover someone had pooped on it, my hour plus commutes to go 5 miles with HUNDREDS of people EACH way every day, the morning I counted 8 homeless men and women asking for money walking from Monroe St to Wacker Ave, the realization I had grown hard to seeing 8 homeless people in less than a few blocks, my bike being stolen, my house being broken into, my car being broken into, my phone being taken, the awful radio stations, the 36 bus ( which I’ll need to do a posting to tell the stories of the 36!), expensive everything, tax on food, $4.00/hour parking meters and on and on.

Do I think of those things that leave me exhausted and daily longing for an easier life? Of course not. I’m about to chop off my hair, remember?  AKA Move to WI. So instead,  I drove home thinking of my friends at work and how I’ll be hard pressed to find anyone to compare at my next job.  How every man is suddenly cuter than ever before…where were they 6 years ago?!?!  I thought about my MK sister directors and consultants who *sidebar gave me one of those cards where 20 people sign it and leave messages. ~ I’ve heard it said that people’s hand writing actually sends a part of their energy with it to the person receiving the card.  I totally believe this because any time I get one of those cards I cry almost instantly at seeing the many messages- I get very overwhelmed and I’m sure it’s because I’m being filled up with all of that energy. *~   I thought about all my time spent downtown with Kitty and the girls I ‘came up the ropes with’, earning my first MK Car and driving it to get cupcakes,  my Tuesday Artists Women’s group, how easy it is to get a cab, food after 10pm, drinks after 2am, the diversity of people, Andersonville- my neighborhood… I know! now i live in Edgewater, but Andersonville has my heart 😉 ,  my conversations with my shoe doctor and my hairstylist, the chinese place across the street, the wonderful coffees, will I go to Starbucks enough to keep my gold membership? Right CatherineRose?!, brunches, glasses of wine I’ve had with my girlfriends, my amazing roommates and neighbors, the days on the beach with the skyline behind me.  I thought about how this will be the last time I will be in this spot in my life ever again and that is sad and I cried.

Today my family is going to be here after my last shift to help me move.   I sit on my red couch, looking out my sun porch, in my quiet apartment that I have made a home.  It will be the last time I’m in it alone and I will miss this. I feel extremely grateful for the last 6 years. It’s the sad truth that we rarely realize how good things are until they are gone and that where we ‘are’ is a good place to be. On Monday, I’m moving to WI and to continue with my hair cut analogy… will have to leave some of it on the floor  so that the rest of it can grow stronger and even better.  Isn’t that the truth.. you never think it will get better and it always does.

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Sausage Party…my favorite kind

Nothing like eating homemade Italian Sausage pizza for brain fuel to write this post.  Homemade by me- not the pizza, but the sausage! Anyone who knows me or who has seen me hold a knife will tell you that I hardly cook. I know my pink chef’s coat may have you fooled as I definitely looked the part heading into work.

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Don’t get me wrong I have the core essentials foods down: cereal, mac and cheese, grilled cheese, spaghetti, and chicken nuggets .  It is extremely accurate to say that I eat like a 12-year-old at home. You can’t totally blame me as I’ve been in the service industry for 10 years with professional cooks to make me amazing dinners by the touch of a couple of buttons and/or a  flutter of my eyelashes.  This Activity Tuesday I was ready to get my hands dirty with Charlie Eure, Revolution’s Executive Chef, who taught me how to make Italian sausage!

I didn’t know what I was in for as I haven’t so much as fileted a fish and unlike most Wisconsinites, did not grow up with a hunting father.  Revolution gets their pigs from La Pryor Farm in Ottawa, IL and they deconstruct them on site so many a times I have walked into the back to see a boiled pig head about to be used to make headcheese for the charcuterie board, tongues and hearts to make a Valentines Day bruschetta, or sausage being stuffed into casing for an apple and pork sausage.  Needless to say, my curiosity factor almost always out weighs my gross out factor… in most aspects of life … sooo I was really hoping to do some butchering! And we did. As this is not a sausage blog I’m not going to give you every detail but here are some things that I learned…

When making Italian sausage we used the ‘pork butt’.  I would have thought that this comes from the butt of the pig- nope, I was wrong.  The butt is actually called the ham (great… ham being one of my favorite foods-of course it’s the butt!!)  So the ‘pork butt’ is actually on the back and under shoulder.  I used a boning knife to cut around the single bone and a chef’s knife to cut the pork butt into grindable size pieces. Wow, these are what good, sharp knives are like?! I also had to make sure to remove the silver skin (Silver skin is that layer of white, opaque connective tissue. It’s hardly edible, and tough as rubber)  and a couple of glands. Gross.

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Another very important thing I learned is that in order for the meat and fat to get through the grinder it has to be cold.  We iced the grinder and partially froze the meat.  We also made a pan full of ice with salt poured over.  The salt’s purpose is it to decrease the temperature of the ice and actually make it colder-this will in Charlie’s words, ‘expedite the process’.  This will not work with the salt made to melt the ice on the driveway, by the way.

*** Sidebar tip from Charlie and probably the only thing you’ll take away from this posting: if you have warm beers and you pour salt on your cooler’s ice and spin a few beers it, it will be stone cold in no time- much colder than if you just ice alone!

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We then surrounded it with another ice tray and stuck it in the freezer.  The reason for this is pig butt is 30% fat and 70% meat and as the fat goes through the grinder it will get warm and start to melt, the grinder will have a hard time pushing it out and slicing the meat through the holes when this happens.

Next: herbs- what a pain in the butt picking herbs are… I began to lose interest. 😉  We used fresh oregano, thyme, and parsley.

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Chopping herbs- more exciting than picking herbs!  Tamera witnessed my slicing technique and said “oh, you really don’t cook, do you?”   She came over to give me her assistance.  Here is the technique she shared:  She held the front part of the blade down into the cutting board and then was free to slice by raising and dropping the back part of the chef’s knife.  It turns out that I bruised the oregano by chopping so vigorously… this weighs more significant if it was being used as a garish because it turns the herb blackish in color.. since we’re making sausage though- no worries! Thank God! Because I did not want to re-pick it!

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We mixed in all the ingredients and got grinding!! It reminded me of a play-do hair salon. 🙂

We whipped it until it was ‘tacky’

We cooked a sample patty to check for flavor and consistency.

More salt and voilá!

***The most important lesson that I will take with me: Always make sausage where you have someone to wash your dishes for you!

I brought my finished sausage downstairs and Ryan whipped me up an amazing sausage pizza! Making the pizza myself would have been overkill on the cooking; baby steps.  I have found its also important to find a cute guy that likes and is willing to cook-this is an invaluable quality to have. Ryan not only made a great pizza but took my picture with my cheesy grin and first ever homemade sausage!!

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Not going to lie, it tasted amazing and I got to share it with everyone! No one has even gotten sick.   Hurry into Revolution and order something with Italian sausage because it was made with lots of love by me♥- JM!  Do you see my initials- that means I made it!!

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10 Tips For a Great Staycation!

  Photo from TemporaryItems

1. Break away from the normal hustle and bustle! Do the opposite of what you always do-vacate your life if only for a night.  If you always watch tv, have your phone near by, and computer on leave them at home or at least silence them and read a bit.  If you are always reading and studying watch some awful cable or a made for TV movie.

2. Invite only amazing company with you, the kind that you don’t feel like you have to entertain or take care of… those people who you can stare at with nothing to say and you’re not uncomfortable. This will be handy when you don’t feel like talking. Company is not required by any means.

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Meet Robyn! One of my bffs 🙂

3. Practice some of your secret self care.  It’s time to remove the cuticles, pumice your heels,  lotion above the knee,  exfoliate, and pluck those eyebrows. You will feel like a new human being afterwards! They have awesome (and terrifying) lights and a magnifying mirror (also terrifying) – take advantage.

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I’m not even that high maintenance of a girl.. promise!

4. Take a bath~ In my dream house I only want one thing  (that’s a lie: I want about 50, it’s a dream house after all) but one thing above all others I want is an amazing, beautiful bath tub that can cover both my knees and my boobs at the same time!  See, I don’t require much.

5. Wear robes! It makes you feel rich and super important 😉 .

6. Jump on the bed and sleep in the shape of a starfish. King size bed is required.

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See- working on posting double chinned pics!

7. Try something new.  With all the talk of ‘oil pulling’ I brought coconut oil and tried it out. Not nearly as bad as I thought it would be.   If your company is of the ‘lover’ variety, well then,  there is quite an expansive list of new things two could do….and if they’re strictly platonic – you could just try a new nail color or conditioning hair mask like I did- it’s almost the same thing.

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I would wear cozy socks 24/7.

8. Go somewhere you have never been…If you feel like venturing out of the comforts of luxury  to go somewhere make sure to try somewhere new.  Order dessert ‘to go’ so you can enjoy that something sweet while in your robe and cozy socks with a night-cap of wine, favorite whiskey, or a cup of zen tea.

9.  Sleep in~ don’t forget the Do Not Disturb sign so the housekeeping doesn’t wake you.

10. Enjoy your favorite morning routine as slowly as possible.  Treat yourself to a great breakfast- it’s Staycation after all!

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A cloudy day but at great view with my morning coffee!

It’s been a brutally cold polar vortex frozen tundra sub-zero ice land out there for most of us- I’d say we deserve the little R&R of a Staycation!! 

Calling me home

Activity Tuesday and I wasn’t there.  There are things to be missed no matter where you are.  When I am home in two weeks I will inevitably be missing all of what I have here in Chicago… every time I think too hard about it I begin to cry so I won’t stay too long on that topic.   I have spent my 20’s living the amazing adventure of a single city life and when I take stock I am so thankful for the person that I grew into along this journey.  As I get older, it becomes clear that I need to be where my family is, even if it will take some adjusting in the beginning. Seeing the pictures of my funny cousins, aunts, mom and sister enjoying wine and painting together made me seriously miss them and A LOT homesick.   I’m making the right choice to move back home.1896984_10201442178926970_1925094766_n

Since my very first theatre production my aunts have waited for me in the lobby with their program and asked for my autograph after the show as if I was a superstar. I even think they save them!  They have come to almost every show including my first show, Cyrano De Bergerac, that the Children’s Theater o2014-03-18 13.39.59f Madison cut down to a whopping 4 hours. *Side bar: to this day my least favorite play on the face of the earth is Cyrano De Bergerac- just thought you should know that* .   I had one line in hour 2 of the show and probably 15 of my friends and family members came out to see it. As I geared up to deliver my line I was upstaged by a bigger gal than myself and my line was lost. No one heard it!  After the show they were so proud of me “even though I didn’t have a line”.  I was devastated and embarrassed that no one heard it, but they were so proud of me that it didn’t matter! That was the first time I signed a program and it made me feel as though they thought it would actually be worth something someday…that maybe I’d be worth it someday.   That’s a picture of me and my Grandma Marking after the Bourgeois Gentleman, another CTM production.  My love of theatre grew and their amazing support stayed steady so much that I decided to pursue it as a profession.  All through my acting conservatory they continued to show up.  My last and favorite show was a sold out house with seats full of all of my loved ones cheering me on at curtain call.  What a feeling!

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When I imagine raising kids and when I imagine my parents and relatives getting older there is no question that I need to be surrounded by this type of support.  I want my kids to have a huge cheering section- even if they run only one race and fall face first.  That sort of love is hard to come by and I’d be a fool to miss out on that.  Our family is not without its quirks and certainly its difficulties of health and conflicts, but we are our biggest cheerleaders. We must be in a space of the people who believe in us most to do the things we were sent to do on this earth.

My mom said that everyone’s painting was different, but that everyone’s had turned out great. People who thought they were the worst painters painted.  People were the hardest on their own work of course.  My Aunt Donna, who is always making us laugh, compared her Madison skyline to the homeless shacks and then chopped it up to the Madison bus stop.  Of course, it didn’t! Sometimes it just takes belief and praise from loved ones to really appreciate what we have done and that we are capable so we can keep going… I thank God for those people because I can’t imagine my life if I had stopped acting because no one heard my one line.

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I took choir to learn how to sing and had a teacher tell me I was “ruining some very beautiful moments”.  That story is a bit shocking and painfully true- ask Allie, who saw me crying in the hall right after it happened.   Today I laugh at the story but inside get a little pissed because I stopped learning to sing after that…   besides singing in  church, where I feel like if God gave me this voice he’s going to have to listen to it. 😉  It is these small things  that begin and continue to  shape and conform our ideas of what we are capable of unless you do some real work on yourself to overcome these beliefs.  Sure we can laugh it off and ‘accept’ as something goofy about us- you’ll hear lots of my family say oh they have ‘the marking voice’ .  Honestly, having a beautiful voice is a gift I am most envious of … someone who can sing and doesn’t is a quick way to really piss me off. God gave you this gift and you waste it and when I think of what I would do with it, gah!

Pause… how many gifts has God given me that I’m wasting?  My gifts may not be as obvious or showcased as often as the soloist in choir , but when I get real with myself  I’m wasting my gifts more times than not- my gifts of my compassion, empathy, loving getting to know people and letting them know me, creativity and imagination, my physical and mental health… People are probably looking at me just as pissed that I’m not ‘singing my song’, or ‘painting my picture’, or doing the things I know I can do to change this world.

I’m feeling the draw home because I believe that I will be in a place where I can really let these gifts come forth.  I believe that my business and even my lil’ theatre life will be in an atmosphere that is more conducive to my many talents and I will be surrounded with the best cheerleaders in the world- those crazy cousins and aunts!

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How I learned generosity

If you haven’t any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble.  ~Bob Hope

I have always believed that it is never ‘what is taught but what is caught’ that 2649_632461016158_6276237_ninstills qualities and character within someone. You treat someone with respect and they will learn respect.  My mom always says I taught her ‘compromise’.  To those that know me, it may be hard to imagine me throwing giant, nasty tantrums over socks and shoes as a girl, but I was that kid.  My mom had to learn to pick her battles with me.  Turns out, because of that, I think one of my greatest strengths as an individual is compromise. She demonstrated this to me and I caught it.

This week I had an amazing breakfast with one of my favorite people, Emily.  She texted me that she would be in town and could she treat me to breakfast? Who would say no?  She is the sister of one of my greatest friends, Rebecca.  These two women were the first to really show me the meaning of generosity-  to give more of themselves than is expected. I was invited to Beans & Barley, a Milwaukee breakfast staple,  about 10 years ago as a green college student.  To this day, I’m still teased about my wide eyes and gaping mouth as I watched Emily drink a 5 dollar super mini grapefruit juice in practically one gulp.   I was in awe and my young, naive self looked at her – eyes bugged out and said, “that was like a $2.00 drink of juice.” I think I believed that expensive juice should be savored. Although this story may require that you have been there to be amusing –  it has remained a running joke years later.  I really don’t mind the joke because it reminds me of how much I have grown. They ordered based on what they wanted vs. what numbers were printed on the right side of the menu.  Quite frankly,  I still have to actively work on this.  But what she did next shocked me even more:  The breakfast continued and when the bill came,  Emily quickly scooped it up and paid it.  I could hardly believe it.   I not only remember being impressed, but mainly I just felt grateful.375266_549284318799_782524899_n

And now for years, I have experienced the kindness and generosity of the Phillips sisters, even when I’m sure they weren’t always in a financial position to be so giving.  I would be bold enough to say they are THE two most generous people I know.  There were times, Rebecca would call wanting to go to lunch or get our nails done and I’d have to say no because I didn’t have the money to go. She would say, “it’s on me; I asked you because I want your company. I’m picking you up in 5.” She thought time with me was worth that?? Wow. It made me feel amazing and very special.   They care about people beyond measure and I’m truly blessed to be able to call them friends.

  Life isn’t perfect so it’s good to get along with some care from your friends.

I continued to learn generosity as I worked in the service industry, it raised me in this department as I saw example after example.  Not only are we quite literally serving individuals, but we are on the front line of people demonstrating generosity.  It is an easy way to demonstrate kindness in this environment because there are so many opportunities.  Of course, every day there are people being generous with their time, their talent and their other resources. But daily, I see people treating their friends for their birthdays, insisting on picking up the check, people sneaking away to pay a bill so their friends don’t notice, leaving nice tips for perfect strangers.  I go out with friends who when we get the tab don’t look at it, just throw in money. We are always well over the amount.  Last time we were $80 over and so we left it for our waitress.  A small price of an extra 5 or 10 bucks for each of us and quite possibly a night saving, rent making tip for the waitress.  Life is just more fun when we stick together and help each other out.

You have to give in order to receive and vice-versa. It is a lot like breathing; try blowing out all of your breath- eventually you have to suck some air back in.  You have to be able to accept gifts in order to give them.

I have learned to surround myself with these types of people and not because I am looking for a free meal ticket, but because their generously bleeds in to all aspects of their lives and exemplifies the type of person they are. These are  who I want for my friends.

Holly’s greeting cards she sends for encouragement or for no reason at all always cheer up my days! It does not surprise me that she found a husband who is equally as kind.

Audrey, my roommate at the time,  ran out and picked me up ice cream one late night when I was craving it. This was over 6 years ago and I’m still impressed with that one!

Friends who will go out of their way to come pick me up, and coworkers that will switch shifts when I’m in a bind. Customers that give referrals and friends that support me. And on and on!  What unbelievable gifts!

My boss at Rev, Greg, is  extremely giving and in really surprising ways.  When I told I noticed this about him  he said “when it costs me so little and will mean so much to someone else, why wouldn’t I?”  As is .. duh! That’s the thing – the most generous people probably don’t even know how rare their gifts are.

These are just some acts of generosity that have been demonstrated towards me and so I caught the bug and want to give more and more of myself every chance I get because I know how it feels and I want to give that feeling to someone else.

The good ol’ debate of whether a girl should pay on a date… I’ve been asked this a couple of times and I have to admit I’m kind of a stickler in the beginning because finding a man who is generous is in my top 5 qualities of what I’m looking for.  I’m sure there are exceptions to this, but I think how he choses to spend or not spend his money is reflexive of how generous and giving he is as a person over all. I do not care if you make a lot of money, invite me for a coffee then.  It makes me feel taken care of and special- that my company is worth it.  Those are good feelings and I’m simply more attracted to people who leave me with good feelings. Obviously, as the relationship progresses, this should not always be the case but in the beginning show me that you care.   I know it’s old-fashioned, but you demonstrate a lot when you show generosity and kindness.

**Please do not misinterpret this post~  Being cost efficient and budget savvy  are way different from being cheap.   Budgeting  as in buying your candy at a 7-11 before the movie is just smart and way different from buying a kids ticket and making your date pretend she is 11. Although buyer beware- it can potentially be a slippery slope to forgetting to enjoy life and generously give to others.

Below is my very first try at uploading and placing a video on YouTube from my phone.. I need practice – this is really testing my technology skills!

With that being said here are a few ways to know if you are or becoming a cheapskate.

  1. Friends have stopped inviting you to picnic with them at Concert on the Square because your contribution to the picnic is nothing but a half taken up blanket.
  2. You have said in the last month “‘it’s your turn to buy me coffee, I got yours 4 months ago”.
  3. Your round of drinks is always the last round of drinks in hopes people won’t make it to your round.
  4. You host a party with BYOB on the invite and buy only one bag of chips for the guests to share.
  5. Your friend picks you up on an in tandem bike and don’t peddle similar to renting a canoe and not paddling. 😉
  6. You use a restaurant gift card only on your half of a bill instead of putting it towards the meal and your shared experience then splitting the difference.
  7. You and your best friend go out to eat and you point out that they had a .75 cent side of sour cream and you did not.
  8. You conveniently never can drive and conveniently never have cash on you to help with gas.
  9. You all order delivery but you say you won’t have any and then eat half the pizza.

 I know that I am a work in progress when it comes to a lot of things and this is one area of my life I consciously work every day. I believe the world would be a lot more happy and fun if we all made a valiant effort to help each other out.  We have an opportunity everyday to make people feel special and appreciated and show them kindness. Look for those moments! You may never know just how far that generosity will travel.

Are the arms too much?

This is Activity Tuesday!

Keeping busy and making optimism a way a life can restore your faith in yourself.  ~ Lucile Ball

It seems only right to quote such an example of a quirky, loveable klutz who finds herself in the goofiest of situations.  All of America fell in love with her.  I watch I Love Lucy with my morning coffee almost daily~ it beats the news any day. It reminds me to laugh.

I find the busier I am, the happier I am… even if it is as simple as an art project.  Seeing as the ‘Frozen Tundra’ that we have lived in for the last 3 months has just finally started to melt away but not yet gone I relish a Friday evening in with an art project, a glass of wine, and a good tv show.  Good as in Nashville, Greys Anatomy , & New Girl… I can feel the judgement and I’m totally okay with it. 😉

The Making of My Cover Photo, Ms. Egg  … she didn’t always look so good.

I often have ideas in my head of what I want something to turn out like.  When I explain that idea to someone they usually look at me a little confused and say, “well… I’m sure it will turn out great”, not actually understanding what I am trying to make.  This has happened to me all through school… I wanted to make Scarlet Letter Magnets for my book report, a proposal that was denied until I did it anyway and the teacher loved them so much he saved them for the next year’s example. Or when I made a paper mache toilet with a working seat and lid~ I also received an apology from my teacher for ever doubting my idea.  This seemed like one of those ideas no one would get…so I knew I was on the right track.2014-03-10 15.28.08

First, I needed a fruit bowl since I didn’t have one.  I went to my local Brown Elephant, a thrift store in the  neighborhood.   I went in for a 2 dollar bowl and ended up spending considerably more… per usual.  I got things like these two Lucy dolls. I wish I was kidding. They are from my two favorite episodes, but for real Jess, where am I going to put them?!   Gah- my buyer’s remorse has sunk in which always happens, especially when I cannot make returns. Maybe I’ll gift one to my friend, Robyn, to lift some of the regret… friendship Lucy dolls? It will go with your kitchen.  You’re welcome.

The grocery store parking lot was out-of-control busy and it was like what most non-chicagoians experience only during holiday shopping season except it’s just a typical night here.  I’m grateful I don’t have a 9-5 and I can usually run my errands without the rest of the city.

I think I’m becoming an old woman because the Bagger put my bananas in the same bag with a cantaloupe and a jar of salsa.  They were completely bruised and I was annoyed.  This isn’t a thing to typically bug me so I have to assume it comes with aging. My first job was as a ‘bagologist’ , as my dad called me, at a WI grocery store and I quickly learned people’s tendencies towards their groceries.  It is safe to say that the older the man or the woman the more protective they are of their bananas.  Which reminds me of a story I’ll tell you one day of my dad and his ‘Banana Diet’.

Before I got to crafting,  I called my Friday night buddy for some long distance company.  It won’t be long until we can be lazy on Friday’s together in person, but for now, we text and chat with each other quite contently from afar.  Holly was busy with kindergarten report cards while I kept her updated with my egg progress.

2014-03-08 18.38.33In my head I could see Ms. Egg sitting with a little skirt so as the eggs boiled, I used a hair tie and a coffee filter to make the skirt.  It technically worked but ended up looking totally ugly.  Fail.  I also tried to draw some eyes using a brown crayola marker. HAHAHA~ This did not turn out at all! The bangs especially made the egg look like she was wearing a toupee. Is she winking? Who knows!?  Not to mention don’t use a washable marker it will smear all over the place!  This was going to be a little harder than anticipated. However, if I was 5, Ms. Holly would give me an A+.

I got online and Goo2014-03-08 18.56.38gled egg faces and drew some out to get a little practice to avoid going through all dozen eggs and ending up with all deformed faces. It turns out people are pretty creative when it comes to creating egg faces…Who knew?

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I experimented with arms and legs.  Twisty ties!  I text Holly, “Are the arms too much?”  She responded quickly with a “Yes. But I love the legs!”

I’d say overall I think she turned out great even though I forgot eyelashes on her left eye.  I used a Zot (I love Zots) to stick her on the edge of the fruit bowl.

And then my favorite part ~ Egg Salad for dinner.  Sorry egg faces!

To most this will seem like a pretty lame Friday… no wonder this girl is alone!  But for me- I caught up with a great friend, I exercised my creativity, I trusted and followed through on a vision, I thought positively about projects ahead of me, I made something new and I kept my hands busy~ all in the process of ‘restoring my faith’ in myself’. Success.

Perfectly Imperfect

Welcome to Eggs in the Fruit Salad

Things aren’t always as perfect as a pottery barn pillow perfectly placed on an equally perfect couch. I’m here to shed light on the perfectly imperfect life most of us lead.  My grandma Marking used to top and garnish her fruit salads with sliced hard-boiled eggs.  A thing, as little girl and even as an adult, I find odd and let’s face it, weird.  However, when all of my cousins are together reminiscing about our grandma, it’s this memory, and the time she served us green hotdogs for Christmas that always brings us the most laughter and loving thoughts about her.

At the end of the day, it’s our quirks that make us who we are and the reason we fall in love with the people around us.  It is important to remember that it is our character that will be remembered.. not that perfectly placed pillow.  So I share this blog not to showcase or flaunt my life as flawless or ideal (similar to the way Facebook pictures have a tendency to portray), but to tell the story of a girl who gets through life even when things turn out a little like… hard-boiled eggs. I know you will fall in love with this blog and my honesty regarding some of the ‘quirks’ that keep life interesting and I hope along the way you celebrate and embrace your own!    

In that light, here is a little about me: 

I have lived in Chicago for 6 years and I am moving back home to Madison, WI next month to be closer to my family~ so close in fact, I’ll be in my parent’s basement.  Win.

I’m single… and have been for 28 going on 29 years.  Why I’m so jacked in this area God only knows???  It has made for some horrendous and mostly comical dating stories.  People laugh and I die a little inside with each telling of the tales.  That was tad dramatic and not totally true- even I have to laugh at the satire that is my love life.  I get lonely like most people who are chronically alone.

I am an awful speller.  This is partly why I write in cursive.  I write in cursive, people find this odd.  Also, my comma usage , is not the greatest. ;0)  If you are a stickler for this, you may have a hard time reading my blog.

I am on a mission to figure out how to have and do up long hair.  Unfortunately, YouTube tutorials usually leave me with a head that’s a hot mess while the girl on the video made it look as easy as snapping her fingers. A complete Pinterest Fail.   This week alone my blowdryer went up in flames in my hand. Eek! Stop. Drop. Roll. 

I love my job and believe that it is my calling, whew- something right.  My dream of reaching and helping women is a reality, but I have yet to reach in and pull out my full potential that I know I have.   I often question if I quit or postponed my dream of being in the theater because I failed at it.  I quickly solace myself knowing that I just found something better and I can come back to it. Either way at the moment I am full of pretty lame excuses.  

I am a visionary person and can always see a finished project before most people can, a blessing and a curse. What I can’t see are steps 1-9 to get to 10. For this reason, I hesitated to start this blog.

I watch too much tv. I drink too little water, and probably sleep too much (my sister will hate me for the last as she can’t remember the last time she slept in after 9am). 

I LOVE breakfast and I love going out to eat to get it, but I often feel guilty about going out for dinner.  This probably stems from the ‘eat to live’ and not ‘live to eat’ mentality I was brought up in.  Case in point: green hotdogs.

My stories, much like this post, go on a little too long.

I often start one thought and mid-sentence switch to another. Only the people closest to me have learned how to translate my thought process into making sense.

I feel like I know a lot but have a hard time regurgitating any of it which makes me feel like I don’t know anything.

I lose my keys and phone…daily. 

I have truly great, lifetime long friends and an unbelievable and supportive family.  I laugh hardest with my sister.

I always make people retake a double-chinned picture of me and/or I will untag it from Facebook- I’ll work on that one.

The name Messy Jessy fits me like a glove.  Although I keep things clean, if you ever see a picture of my room and it’s not messy I inevitably hid all of the clothes somewhere for the quick picture-  don’t be fooled.

This is a little about me and my life.  I look forward to sharing all of my adventures: the good, the bad, and the imperfect with you as it unfolds! Enjoy Eggs in the Fruit Salad! 2014-03-09 12.42.08