One of life’s regrets… not becoming a Japanese Sensation

It was just a normal night at the brewery with Mae and myself: pouring beers, meeting neat people and giving a Chinese interpreted brewery tour. 😉  At the end of the tour they wanted some pictures, which I was happy to take.  I reached for their camera, they said “No, no.. of you!”.  I should have known better working in the restaurant industry as long as I have of certain stereotypes that have almost always proven true.  I was happy to oblige these kind and interesting Chinese men (one who I picked up owned some sort of winery in China)  and pose for the picture of only me in front of our brewery logo on the wall.  Going back to the bar I was reminded of the last time a picture like that was taken of me and shared the story with Mae, which I will soon share with you.  It’s funny to me because so often weird and pretty entertaining things happen in my life that I don’t blink twice about until I share the story with others.  It’s not until people point out how ridiculous they sound that the same occurs to me! Mae is one of these gals who must find my life a little wackado.

I first experienced this cultural difference when we were on a family vacation to San Francisco at the age of 9 or 10 when I was asked for the first time to pose for a picture by an Asian family also touring the city.  By the age of 23 and a waitress downtown Chicago at Rock Bottom, I was not phased by this custom so when a Japanese table ordered their flight of beer, took out their camera and asked me to smile for the picture I held up the menu and didn’t think twice about it.  If I had, I would have fixed my totally jacked up bangs. When I asked what they were in town for they replied that they wrote the Chicago Travel Guide for Japanese business men.

A year or so later I had switched jobs and was serving at another brewery in the city.  I received an alarming text of a photo of me holding a Rock Bottom menu with the words RESTAURANTS both in English and Japanese across my chest! As it turned out, a Japanese man had stopped into Rock Bottom to find me.  My former coworkers convinced them to leave the book and he left me a message to email him.   Apparently, I was seen in Tokyo as well! I am the only human being photographed in the entire book and I am also the corner tab on EVERY page in the restaurant section.  I debated whether or not to email him and decided that he was probably just a creeper and never did.  This was 6 years ago and when I think back I wished I would have emailed him to at least find out what he wanted.  Did he want to pay me royalties for my ‘beautiful’ picture? Did he want me to model for more editions of the Chicago Travel Guides?  Was I about to become a Japanese sensation!?? These are questions I will never know the answers to!! Is 6 years too late to send an email to Mr. Hirano???   If I have learned anything, life’s biggest regret is when you are forced to say WHAT IF?! So when an opportunity knocks on your door, no matter how crazy it looks – I SAY TAKE IT- YOU COULD BECOME THE NEXT JAPANESE SENSATION!20141210_142429

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(… and also listen to your gut because who knows… he totally could have been a creeper 😉 )

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Dear Diary….

“Dear Diary… it’s been a long time since I last wrote.”   I remember always writing this in my journals before trying to recall everything that had happened in the last 3 months so who would know .. my diary??  That’s nuts!  That sort of pressure would keep me from writing because I knew it would be a daunting task so I would procrastinate and procrastinate and that task would get harder and harder the longer I would wait.  When I really became a good journal-er of my life (is that word?) I gave up expectation of explaining every detail and just wrote what I needed to for myself with no pressure of length or narrative. I started carrying my journal with me so when I was out and about and wanted to leave notes for myself, had a minute of downtime, felt like doodling, posting a quote, or a fortune from a fortune cookie I could.  What I gave up was writing the epic tale of my life and focused on capturing the moments that make up the good and lets be honest, more often the bad parts.

Any artist will tell you that inspiration often comes more out of heartache than when life is picture perfect.  Maybe that’s why after a fantastic summer and fall of not writing I find myself back at this keyboard… when I’m feeling less than perfect. Months after my move and months after my last post I will stop procrastinating because I feel this pressure to catch everyone up and instead, just write.  My time not writing has been filled by having a fun summer, working three jobs: 2 breweries and MK,  more outside time than I’ve had in a long time, going to bed early and waking up earlier than ever before to get to the gym, losing my last winters weight, wine and more wine on patios with friends, lots and lots and lots of family time, starting piano lessons, meeting a really kind and interesting guy who always made me fancy pancakes in the morning and this amazing cuban coffee…. Nutella pancakes, cinnamon pancakes, banana fosters pancakes…even our first date was over pancakes and beer…. to this moment right now when I feel like life is going backwards.

I know it’s all for the greater picture but it may take me a week or two to get on board with that right now.   For the sake of my sanity.. I am blaming the weather.  An excuse that I will let myself believe for 1 more day before cleaning up my attitude. And although professionally I feel like I’m making my way… although lets be honest,  it can never come fast enough! I question my capabilities to keep it going as I find I’m already falling into old habits of Polar Vortex winter Chicago 2013/14! Must snap out of it!   After 3 months and an invitation to come to my brother in law’s birthday to finally meet my family I have heard NO word from the cute boy who made me pancakes. Talking every single day and seeing each other 3 days a week for 3 months to straight up, no reason, no explanation, no fight, no awkward text, no phone call, no warning, nothing… gone.  It’s soooo bizarre I can’t even wrap my head around it.  Seriously?!  I’m at a total loss.  I’d believe him dead if it wasn’t for his ‘Active’ status on Tinder.  … I may have just answered my own question. :/

Facebook shows post after post of engagements, baby showers, new homes, fancy vacations… people moving forward and life happening … and right now for a girl who has such grand visions of her life and her future family those things couldn’t feel farther away.  Owning a cat seems more probable than finding a guy that wants to be around me longer than a couple of months.. yes I said that! I’m wallowing and deserve a day to have a pity party!   I am living at home with my parents, almost 30, dumped for not apparent reason after my longest relationship of a whopping 3 months,  AND it’s cold out.  Life feels a lot like hard-boiled eggs right now. The hardest part of social media is the constant ‘News Feed’ and the ‘TimeLine’ that you want your life to be and the constant reminder that someone has what you want and for some reason that is in no hurry to reveal itself, you don’t get to have that.

Today I went through all my many journals of ups and downs, ups and more downs to discover something important and offered a hair of comfort.  Everything I was asking God to help me through… he did.  Everything I prayed and wished for that never was granted  … I can say AMEN to that because I would not have half the life I have today if it had.  I turn through those pages hoping that in another 5 years I can look back at the pages I wrote today and be glad… and thankful. In the meantime this week it will be me and a bottle of wine.   The good news is that after all of this I don’t have a taste for pancakes.

…. okay that was a lie, I love pancakes….

… damn him and his fancy pancakes.

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Perfectly Imperfect

Welcome to Eggs in the Fruit Salad

Things aren’t always as perfect as a pottery barn pillow perfectly placed on an equally perfect couch. I’m here to shed light on the perfectly imperfect life most of us lead.  My grandma Marking used to top and garnish her fruit salads with sliced hard-boiled eggs.  A thing, as little girl and even as an adult, I find odd and let’s face it, weird.  However, when all of my cousins are together reminiscing about our grandma, it’s this memory, and the time she served us green hotdogs for Christmas that always brings us the most laughter and loving thoughts about her.

At the end of the day, it’s our quirks that make us who we are and the reason we fall in love with the people around us.  It is important to remember that it is our character that will be remembered.. not that perfectly placed pillow.  So I share this blog not to showcase or flaunt my life as flawless or ideal (similar to the way Facebook pictures have a tendency to portray), but to tell the story of a girl who gets through life even when things turn out a little like… hard-boiled eggs. I know you will fall in love with this blog and my honesty regarding some of the ‘quirks’ that keep life interesting and I hope along the way you celebrate and embrace your own!    

In that light, here is a little about me: 

I have lived in Chicago for 6 years and I am moving back home to Madison, WI next month to be closer to my family~ so close in fact, I’ll be in my parent’s basement.  Win.

I’m single… and have been for 28 going on 29 years.  Why I’m so jacked in this area God only knows???  It has made for some horrendous and mostly comical dating stories.  People laugh and I die a little inside with each telling of the tales.  That was tad dramatic and not totally true- even I have to laugh at the satire that is my love life.  I get lonely like most people who are chronically alone.

I am an awful speller.  This is partly why I write in cursive.  I write in cursive, people find this odd.  Also, my comma usage , is not the greatest. ;0)  If you are a stickler for this, you may have a hard time reading my blog.

I am on a mission to figure out how to have and do up long hair.  Unfortunately, YouTube tutorials usually leave me with a head that’s a hot mess while the girl on the video made it look as easy as snapping her fingers. A complete Pinterest Fail.   This week alone my blowdryer went up in flames in my hand. Eek! Stop. Drop. Roll. 

I love my job and believe that it is my calling, whew- something right.  My dream of reaching and helping women is a reality, but I have yet to reach in and pull out my full potential that I know I have.   I often question if I quit or postponed my dream of being in the theater because I failed at it.  I quickly solace myself knowing that I just found something better and I can come back to it. Either way at the moment I am full of pretty lame excuses.  

I am a visionary person and can always see a finished project before most people can, a blessing and a curse. What I can’t see are steps 1-9 to get to 10. For this reason, I hesitated to start this blog.

I watch too much tv. I drink too little water, and probably sleep too much (my sister will hate me for the last as she can’t remember the last time she slept in after 9am). 

I LOVE breakfast and I love going out to eat to get it, but I often feel guilty about going out for dinner.  This probably stems from the ‘eat to live’ and not ‘live to eat’ mentality I was brought up in.  Case in point: green hotdogs.

My stories, much like this post, go on a little too long.

I often start one thought and mid-sentence switch to another. Only the people closest to me have learned how to translate my thought process into making sense.

I feel like I know a lot but have a hard time regurgitating any of it which makes me feel like I don’t know anything.

I lose my keys and phone…daily. 

I have truly great, lifetime long friends and an unbelievable and supportive family.  I laugh hardest with my sister.

I always make people retake a double-chinned picture of me and/or I will untag it from Facebook- I’ll work on that one.

The name Messy Jessy fits me like a glove.  Although I keep things clean, if you ever see a picture of my room and it’s not messy I inevitably hid all of the clothes somewhere for the quick picture-  don’t be fooled.

This is a little about me and my life.  I look forward to sharing all of my adventures: the good, the bad, and the imperfect with you as it unfolds! Enjoy Eggs in the Fruit Salad! 2014-03-09 12.42.08